Perhaps you’ve stumbled upon of this concept of romanticizing your life while scrolling tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, or Tik Tok. Romanticizing your life, as I understand it, is basically treating your life like a movie. Paying attention to the details that can upgrade your experience and make each day feel whimsical and special to you.
Pre-requisite: Dissociating our self worth from our out-put
If you’re like me and prone to becoming a slave to routine and productivity (even when you don’t have to be!) then this concept is definitely for you. I’m currently unemployed so, theoretically, I could use my days however I want to. However, I still feel this deep ingrained need to be extremely productive on my weekdays between 9am and 5pm. It’s like muscle memory or something to feel guilty and useless if I haven’t use my time wisely and made major progress on my goals.
The biggest issue with this, other than the whole concept of my self-worth being placed in my productivity (thanks capitalism), is that I’m not prioritizing joy anywhere in that 9 to 5 span. So whether I make progress on my goals or not, I find that time flying by and looking a lot like the days before and after it. It’s like I won’t let myself intentionally choose to work on a goal or just do something enjoyable. One or the other so that I can be fully present in whatever I choose.
So often we end up failing to decide how to use our time and end up just buffering the day away — not really enjoying it but not really being productive either. If you ask me, this is THE most regrettable way to spend time and its so easy to fall into if you’re not intentional about it.
Time you enjoy wasting was never wasted, but time spent buffering is a missed opportunity for joy.
That was a bit of a tangent but still relevant. We can decide to find joy in way more of our lives than we’re prone to. This pandemic has put a halt to our regular day to day lives but we can still make the most of where we are and what we have. #gratitude (see last week’s blog post for a gratitude practice)
So how do we make our current lives dreamy to us instead of waiting for ‘Rona to get off our backs and waiting for life as we knew it to return?
We relish in what we have. We soak up the beauty of the details. We languish in the present.
I was partially inspired to this topic by the recent Twenty Something Podcast episode on this topic. The hosts describe it as making your life a movie but instead of controlling the events aka plot, you curate the soundtrack. Indeed, playlists are another part of the process!
I created a playlist based on a song I heard in an Insecure episode a couple months ago and titled it “Dreamiest.” It is the most tingly, goose-bumpy experience I’ve created for myself. Dare I even say, a romantic experience. Take a listen! The first song is the song from the Insecure episode 😌. Points to you if you know which episode it’s from! I also started a Pinterest board called *~Dreamy~* that will keep growing. I just love this concept so much! Take a look here for a visual representation of this post. 🌹
How do we Romanticize our Lives in a pandemic?
1. Set The Mood
Environment is so crucial to dreamifying your experience. I’m partial to fresh flowers, candles, crystals, and a good playlist. Romanticize even the most mundane experience by engaging all of your senses and evoking as much pleasure as possible.
When I’m working from home, I’ll choose a couple of crystals to lay out, a candle for a good scent, the right playlist for the mood I’m in (New Music Friday works if I’m tired of all my songs and itching for new music), and when the weather gets cold enough, I’m an herbal tea all day, every day girl (with a variety of flavors). There’s sight, smell, sound, and taste. Feelings-wise, if it’s chilly then I live in my fuzzy house robe. If it’s warm, I open the window and LOVE the smell and feel of warm air in summer.
A recent evening treat has been dimming the lights in my bathroom during my shower and lighting a candle. (Shoutout Jnaydaily for sharing this tip on her instagram!) That small gesture does so much for how dreamy the experience feels. I find mornings and evenings to be such ripe times for romanticizing!
More ideas for mood setting: plants, natural light and sitting by windows, being outside in nature, sitting on your porch or laying on your grass, using an essential oil diffuser, eucalyptus in the shower, shower steamers, products you love (I splurge on Dr. Bronners Pure Castille bar soap in lavender or eucalyptus) things in your environment that make you smile, photos of destinations you love and memories you cherish, colors you love, a tidy space, etc. (add more ideas in the comments!)
2. Be present in the moment and in your body
Finding joy in the details is crucial to a romanticized experience. You don’t often watch a movie where a character is scrolling through their phone the whole time. Being present is crucial to romanticizing your life.
Practicing yoga for the past 4 years has helped me ground into my body and notice how often I hold my breath. When in an uncomfortable pose, for example, it’s normal for us to hold our breath and scrunch up our face and create unnecessary tension. Yoga helps you practice relaxing into a pose. I think a lot of us hold our breath more than we notice. I’ve recently noticed a habit of holding my breath in the shower, specifically. Lighting a good smelling candle works to set the mood but also to remind me to breathe deeply (because it smells so good!). I’m now intentional about breathing deeply and grounding into my feet when I get in the shower. It helps me enjoy the experience so much more.
Because I am so present now, my evening showers have become a great time to practice mindfulness and catching my thoughts. A time when I’d normally be prone to worrying and planning (depending on my mood before the shower) becomes a chance to notice my thoughts and instead direct them to “just do the thing” – in this instance the thing is showering. I learned of this “just do the thing” concept a while ago and its helpful in any situation where you notice your thoughts spiraling. In the shower, I’ll feel my wash cloth on my leg and describe the feeling to myself. I’ll breathe and take my time instead of rushing through it.
The more we can practice BEING where we are, the dreamier and more movie-like our lives will feel.
Because we’ll actually be IN the moment experiencing our life rather than physically being in a shower but mentally being miles away, ruminating about the past or worrying about the future.
3. Create and Facilitate Novelty
Before living in a pandemic, novelty was much more accessible. Traveling to new cities, new restaurants, new cafes, going to concerts, events, festivals. If you live near a major city, most of these things were probably at your disposal. Now that we’re being more cautious and spending more time inside, novelty looks a little different but it’s just as vital as ever for a romanticized experience.
A romanticized experience almost feels like dating yourself (blog post from the archives!). You do cute things for yourself and treat yourself to things you like to elevate your experiences. You wouldn’t want to go on the same date 50 times so you incorporate some novelty and adventure!
Not many movies take place in the same 4 walls for every scene. Going for a drive or a distanced hike in a new area with an audiobook or podcast as your companion can be romanticized. Try not to over plan and let things unfold naturally. Maybe you choose a city or area to explore but let yourself get lost a bit. If you’re staying inside, try ordering in from a new restaurant, watch a new show or documentary you normally wouldn’t (ya know, instead of rewatching your favorite show for the 5th time!).
My simple novel day: I recently treated myself to my first Staycation Saturday of all of quarantine (so sad it took me this long, I know). I woke up when my body wanted to, lazed around in bed reading, researched a new cafe to get brunch from and opted to treat myself to an açai bowl and latte — treats I hadn’t had in so long since I’ve been making all my coffees at home. I did a morning yoga flow and drove down to pick up my bowl closer to lunch time and guiltlessly ate it on the couch at home and binged Selling Sunset (I’d never seen it!) the whole day. That was the most relaxed I’d felt in a long while.
It was all novel to me even though it probably doesn’t sound that exciting to you. This is proof it doesn’t have to be grand to scratch your novelty itch. It just has to feel good to you! You can certainly plan a bigger trip thats safe and socially distanced for yourself. I’m flirting with the idea of doing a solo trip somewhere for my birthday in October.
Over to You
There’s so much more I could say but I’ll leave it here and let you fill in the gaps with your own ideas. I hope you’ve gained some inspiration for dreamifying and romanticizing your life!
We deserve to make the most of each moment we’re living. When we decide that our real life begins at some other time — after the pandemic, after we get our degree, after we move to our dream city, etc. etc. — we do a disservice to where we currently are.
Life is happening now so let’s make the most of it, shall we?
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How do you romanticize your life? Maybe after reading this you’re noticing that you actually romanticize your life in several ways and just never put the label on it. Do you like to set the mood for yourself in another way? Do you have more tips for creating novelty? Share share away in the comments and head over to my instagram highlight “Dreamy Life” to see tips that my followers shared about how they romanticize their life!
