Happy Fall! Happy October! 🍂 This is my favorite time of year.
It’s the season where cozy spices of cinnamon, cardamom, and maple find their way into seasonal lattes and leaves fall from trees to later crunch under your feet.
Pumpkins and gourds find their way to front porches while the colors of orange, red and gold interweave on the leaves of trees and on front door decorative wreaths.
It’s the best season of them all and it’s my birthday month! Wheeee.
I’m turning 28 this year which is terrifying to think of as it feels like we’ve all been robbed of almost a full year of our lives due to this pandemic. As many probably feel, I did not expect 28 to look like it looks this year BUT what I keep returning back to, and what brings me some peace, is that I’m healthy and hopeful for the future.
While there are lots of disappointments for this year, I am genuinely grateful to have my health and the health of my loved ones. And with health — both physical and mental — comes hope for the future.
Release your timelines
It’s easy and understandable to feel discouraged about our timelines and visions for our lives this year. 2020 has no concern about what you wanted to do or have done by this year! Feeling discouraged and pressured to have things done by a certain time is really just a symptom of the faulty thinking mistake that a lot of us make. That thinking pattern of assigning certain life milestones to arbitrary ages. It’s the reason we dread birthdays as we get older and feel an impending sense of doom as we approach 30 (or is that just me??).
When we were younger, we may have thought we’d be financially stable and married with kids by 25. Our parents may have led completely different lives than us, with earlier or later timelines. My mother had my sister at 30 but had me at 38. You parents may have had a full family by the age of 23 and some people choose not to have a family at all.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
No one is giving out awards for “finishing” faster than others. In actuality, we’re rewarded when we can maintain our health and vitality for longer and find some joy along the way regardless of how fast or slow we were moving.
We’re all on different timelines that are unique and perfect for us.
There’s no need to compare ourselves to our parents, grandparents, neighbors, friends, or instagram feed. We’re all distinct snowflakes with original designs and timelines. What is right for someone else won’t necessarily be right for you, so stay reassured that your beautiful story is unfolding exactly as it should.
Plan for your beautiful Longterm future
I don’t think I’m alone in feeling the exciting and grounding pen to paper, “let’s get focused” energy that fall brings. We’re conditioned from our adolescence to affiliate fall with back to school vibes. It doesn’t seem to go away when we get older, so why not use this energy to get grounded and really think through what it is that we want to focus on in order to make the changes that we’re craving?
As busy and distracted humans, we tend to forget to think of our longterm future selves and this leads to our detriment.
We may be able to think as far as how we’ll feel in a week or a month, but we fail to really consider our future self 12 months from now, 3 years from now, or 5 years from now. We live in an instant gratification society and that poorly affects our ability to have patience and plant seeds that may need years to come to fruition.
There is a magic that happens when we plan for years down the road. We are able to dream bigger and expand our vision for ourselves to include things that seem impossible when we consider what we can accomplish in shorter timelines. Most things worthwhile in life require dedication, consistency, and patience to yield the sweetest fruit.
Don’t misunderstand me when I mention dedication and patience. I think a lot of us feel like dedication and patience means longterm suffering while waiting to reach a long desired dream or goal. I don’t intend to embrace suffering by any means.
When I think of the journey to my dreams, I’m always considering the excitement of evolution, the developments and shifts that I couldn’t anticipate if I were to give up after 6 months, and the ability to shift my approach and mindset to make the process more enjoyable and fun all along the way.
Your Challenge
So with that in mind, I have a challenge for you. Instead of making plans for a month or two from now, consider: what will my future self in 5 years be happy that I did today?
Really take a moment to brainstorm and think up things you want to start or stop today that will bear fruit 5 years in the future.
Then decide.
Think of what matters to you and what will really be worth your time and effort and choose to pursue it with your whole heart. No half-assing allowed here.
Commit to your beautiful future
Make a commitment to dedicate at least a year, even 2 years, before you assess whether you want to continue with it, shift your approach, or pursue something else.
I was watching a popular YouTuber, Matt D’Avella and stumbled upon his Three Year Rule video (give it a watch!) with two Aussie friends who decided to do a daily podcast, The Daily Podcast, for 5 years! They committed and decided not to even assess their results or have the option to quit until they gave the project 5 good years of commitment. They later decided to double their timeline to 10 years!
10 years is a big commitment for a lot of us so I think we can gain the benefit of the magic of commitment even from 1-3 years of refusing to give up on something. Refusing to give up allows you time to really see something through and understand the different aspects that come with it. Instead of giving up from a minor setback or deciding you’re “not good at” something, you have time to learn and grow within it.
“Many of us have failed to realize that success will only come through a combination of two things: Patience and Persistence.”
Matt D’Avella, The Three Year Rule Youtube Video
During the process of actually committing and taking consistent action for a dream or project, you’ll gain clarity. You’ll notice things and learn things that you wouldn’t have known by simply pondering the idea or trying it for only 6-12 months.
Action begets clarity.
Overcome Perfectionism and Procrastination
I’ve often fallen prey to what my mom calls paralysis of analysis. I can spiral down thinking through the seemingly infinite aspects of an idea in an attempt to make a decision (hello, libra stereotype).
My perfectionism leads me to procrasti-plan and procrasti-learn (terms I learned from Sam Laura Brown on the Lavendaire podcast and the Manifestation Babe podcast!) for months on end when really what I should be doing is taking action and reassuring myself that it’s safe to learn as I go and it’s okay to make mistakes.
Mantra: It is safe to learn as I go. It is safe to make mistakes along the way.
These forms of procrastination are bad habits that I’ve practiced for ages but just this year really come to understand about myself. If you relate, then join me in adopting the mantras above!
Give yourself some grace this fall season and embrace the process of being a beginner at something.
When babies are learning to walk, they may fall down and revert back to crawling but they don’t stay down forever. They get back up and try to walk again. Sometimes they sit for a bit before deciding to get back up and that’s okay.
It’s normal to fall down. It’s okay to learn from mistakes. It’s even okay to learn in public — yes, where other people can see you. It’s perfectly fine if you need to take a breather after taking a hit, as long as you get back up and back on the horse. Don’t give up because you’re a beginner at something. You’re meant to fall and make mistakes and learn along the way, so embrace it!
We’re meant to grow and evolve. No one is meant to be perfect and #flawless, as nice as it sounds.
Hoping you find the courage to learn out loud and embrace mistakes. That’s what I’m leaning into this season.
Wishing you a happy fall and grace on your journey!
“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
(my all time favorite quote!) John Steinbeck, East of Eden
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Are you starting something new or thinking of starting something new and embracing the experience of being a beginner? Let me know in the comments or over on instagram so I can cheer you on! Are you hoping to plant some seeds that you’re scared won’t come to immediate fruition? We all need community as we plant new roots, share in the comments and join the brightly community for inspiration and motivation to see your creative project through.
